Are you familiar with the term sarcasm, McCall?
VERY.

crimsonclad:

Tyler and Dylan play Know Your Bro!

Oh man, so, what if, for some reason Stiles is invited to go on The Newlywed Game (or some new hipster version). And he and Derek are dating, but he figures Derek would rather get stabbed multiple times than do it, so he doesn’t even ask him. He asks Scott instead, because Scott is his bro, and it will be awesome, and probably there will be cool snacks and whatever. He mentions it to Derek, who just rolls his eyes.

**

Derek doesn’t actually plan to watch it, but Stiles keeps it on the DVR and one day he’s just curious enough to press play.

And watching it…kind of sucks. Because Scott knows EVERYTHING about Stiles, things Derek has never even heard about, stupid childhood stories that have never come up, and weird preferences that don’t matter in day-to-day life (Derek doesn’t know that Stiles likes blue cotton candy better than pink, but they’ve never even been to a carnival, how can he be expected to know that), and watching them giggle and hug and crow over their successes makes his throat feel tight.

The host tells them they’re obviously made for each other, and they both laugh and gaze at each other with unapologetic fondness. Derek almost never looks at Stiles like that when Stiles is looking back. He starts to wonder how Scott can do it so easily. He starts to wonder why he doesn’t do it more often, even though he knows how much Stiles loves it.

And then they get into the stupid salacious sex questions, and fuck— they know all the answers to those too. He knows it isn’t from actual experience, Derek KNOWS that, but Scott knows that Stiles likes being held down and he knows what Stiles’s favorite positions are and he knows that Stiles once almost got caught having sex in the bathroom of a sporting goods store. And Derek knows all those things too, BECAUSE HE WAS THERE FOR THEM, he’s the one actually doing those things with Stiles, but he just always assumed that Scott didn’t want to hear about that stuff, whether because of the dude factor or because of the Derek factor. But now he’s realizing that Stiles apparently tells Scott what works for him in bed, and how he likes to be touched, and Scott files that information away, just another sort of thing to know about Stiles. Scott knows his favorite breakfast cereal and he knows how many times Stiles has seen The Power Rangers Movie and he also probably knows how Stiles feels about Derek’s foreskin.

The host tells them that they’ve both scored higher than any previous contestants of the show, and Stiles collapses with laughter, his arms flung around Scott’s shoulders.

**

"When did you first try sushi?" Derek asks halfway through dinner that night.

Stiles looks up from his burrito. “What? Um, probably in middle school. I think I saw some Food Network show and asked my dad if we could try it. Why?”

"I—no reason. Hey, what was your first concert?"

Stiles looks perplexed. “The Wiggles, I think. I was three. What’s going on?”

"Just wondering," Derek mutters. His queso has congealed.

Later, while Stiles looks for the latest episode of The Daily Show, he stops, his hand frozen on the remote. “Did you— did you actually watch the game show? With me and Scott? Is that why you were asking those questions?”

Derek shrugs.

Stiles sits quietly for a moment, then turns the tv off and scoots closer on the couch. “Do you know why they call it trivia? Because it’s trivial. Scott knowing all that stuff just means we grew up together.”

"Okay." Derek can feel his ears burning.

Stiles leans in, pressing his face into Derek’s neck. “When is the last time I had a dream about my mother?”

Derek blinks. “Um—two weeks ago, I think. The 15th.”

"What did we have for dessert the last time my dad came over for dinner?"

Derek closes his eyes. “Sorbet.”

"Why do I like to use Scrubbing Bubbles to clean the shower?"

"Because your Dad always bought Comet and it dries out your hands, but also because the thought of sentient scrub brushes doing your work for you makes you feel like a benevolent god." Derek feels Stiles’s mouth curve into a smile.

"Scott knows all that other stuff because he was there for it, but there are a lot of things about me NOW that he doesn’t know."

Derek pushes his nose into Stiles’s hair. “Well, he sure knows a lot about what you like in bed.”

Stiles laughs. “Look, if you want me to stop telling him how incredible you are, I can do that. But just because he knows how I feel about sex doesn’t mean he actually knows what it’s like to have sex with me. He knows I’m noisy because I’ve told him I holler like a dying hyena, but he’s never heard me make those noises. He doesn’t know how I taste.”

Derek hums. “He’d better not.”

Stiles takes a breath. “He doesn’t know how to be with me, Derek. That’s all you. All we did was show how stupid those shows are, and win a fancy blender. Vita-something.”

Derek pulls back, his eyes wide. “You won a Vitamix?”

Stiles grins. “Well, it was a choice between that or a cappucino machine, and I’d rather get my caffeine fix down at Isaac’s shop, so.”

Derek makes a lot of smoothies, and sometimes he complains about the number of blenders incapable of blending the kale as smooth as he likes it, not to mention how many have just died on him. “I’ve been wanting one of those, but they’re so expensive, I just couldn’t justify the price.”

"Yeah," Stiles laughs, curling his arm around Derek’s chest, "I know."

waywardandwanderlust:

heartsandmagic:

Cat doesn’t know what to do with the butterfly that flew on its paw.

I can’t breathe I’m laughing too hard

We had this Christmas tree, and we kept it even beyond Christmas, me and Tyler loved it so much and one time we were having people come over and Hoechlin picks up the Christmas tree and he starts bringing it into his room and me and Posey were like ‘What are you doing?’ and he was like ‘we’re having people over, I’m moving the tree into the room so it doesn’t get damaged’ and I was like ‘it’s not gonna get damaged what are you talking about bro, we’re not going to like touch the tree’ and he was like ‘alright, you just got to promise that we don’t break the tree.’ Cut to-
(659)

darkasagrave:

Streets of Fire (OST)1984 a film by Walter Hill

Tonight Is What It Means To Be Young / Fire Inc.

JR Bourne poses for portraits at the Getty Images Portrait Studio during Comic-Con International in San Diego, CA.

bleep0bleep:

'Linski's Late Night Antidote to Lame by WhoNatural (T, 14k) 

Where Stiles has his own college radio show, and the mysterious, faceless Derek is his number one fan.

Also there’s this really hot guy he keeps meeting in the library who totally hates his guts.

leonkumquat:

when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank

they’re married now

wereallbloodyinspired:

Actually, Teen Wolf has been a long process. So, when it first started, I auditioned for Scott’s role. Granted, I weighed a hundred and twenty five pounds. I was teeny. So, when I went into the audition room, I think Jeff was being nice but he was like, ‘Can you gain 20 to 25 pounds in like a month or two?’ Normally actors would lie and I’d be like, ‘Of course I can’ but in this case, I was like, ‘Honestly, no. I can try my best but I don’t think so.’ And I couldn’t. There was no way. So, I actually auditioned a couple of times for that and never went anywhere. I was too small. And then the second season was the role for Isaac. I dabbled in that as well and got pretty close but just wasn’t right for the role. They got Daniel [Sharman], who is amazing and then luckily this, Parrish, came around and Jeff threw it my way and here I am.

k

(◕‿◕✿)

I swear, nearly everyone around me is getting married and/or having children and I’m just over here like

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saddestblogger:

"hey i’m really full do you want the rest of my-"

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What are you guys hoping for in season 5?

watermellyn:

look at this dog baby

th